Delicious Memories

Okay start the blog again then! Will upload previous posts as I go along....as and when I can be arsed :) Though todays post I shall post now....here it is....wait for it.....NOW!

Delicious Memories :) Pt 1
Do drugs work? They can do, if you have the rigth attitude. For me,it's hard. I have a highly HIGHLY addictive personality, and I always want more. The first time I took a drug; MDMA. It was E. Four of them. It was amazing. A feeling like no other. My whole mind opened up, my senses intensified. I could see, feel, smell, hear, taste and experience...everything, so much more. The world was brighter, everything more vivid, everything alive and awake. I've chased that feeling ever since. What intensified the whole experience even more for me was the fact I shared it with Wolfie. I had never met him before. (okay this was originally a drugs post but now it's gonna be an I-met-Wolfie post). He was big. He was bad. I was little. I was shy. I was, essentially, a good girl. He was tall, dark, very good looking with dark eyes and a shaved head. I knew he liked nasty degrading sex. I knew he liked drugs. I had tried niether. He was like a gateway, an invitation into an exciting, dangerous new world. Desire is entrapment. That's what he had said. And I REALLY desired him. He was older than me, and better educated. I remember him stepping off the coach- my legs were shaking I was so meep and nervous. We went for coffee. He wore all black. And a long black trench coat. He drank coffee, a grown ups drink, whilst I had tea. I was quiet, shy, he had me under his spell. We walked to the bus stop. He had a bag with him. It made me nervous because I knew he had things in there, to use on me, to do to me. BDSM like. I's never done anything like that before. Though I craved it badly. At the bus stop we laughed about how shy I was, how nervous he made me. Then, he kissed me. Wowza.

At home, we chatted and stuff, as it got nearer to night time Wolfie took out the E. He had said he was bringing some. I had never touched drugs up til then. Hell I didn't even drink. I was a vegan hippy good-girl; shy nieve, yet hungry- starving- for this.

He took his E and placed mine on the table. Three small white pills to start. The time was here now: did I take them and step into "that" world, or not?
Of course I took them. I was scared- I had a big bad stranger in my house, he had already told me (via text messages online) he wanted to do bad things to me. Bad things I would like. He had brought drugs. He had brought whips. He had brought hunger and desire and all sorts of exciting feelings I had never felt before.
The drugs took about half an hour to work. In the meantime, he suggested I go "get changed" and "show him what I had bought for him". I had bought a revealing black lacy basquette thing and fishnets. Sexy clothes were not something I was used to. Niether was make up. Niether was having my body looked at in a sexual way. I came back down, wearing it. Gosh I felt small and exposed. He smiled, a kind of confident hungry predatory smile as I came in. Looking me up and down approvingly. I had nevger felt so self concious before, Ever. I felt tiny next to him-he was 6ft3 and I was 5ft1 and probably weighed about 8stone, a little heavier than I am now. I had long dark hair, and had never thought of myself as pretty before, I was always a tom boy really. But right then I felt pretty.

The E started to kick in. All of a sudden colours were brighter and there was a rush of life and awakening going on in my head. I kind of forgot how to form coherent sentences then. For a bit. Wolfie was great. He stood close to me, his strong arms holding me gently, his voice calm and low and steady.
I needed water. Thirst came over me quickly. My fingers needed to feel stuff because...it felt so intense. And everything felt new. I secretly having Wolfie hold me like that. I was too rushy and incoherent to even remember how to get water, so Wolfie got me a glass. I took a long drink. It felt icy and refreshing. He stood close, looking down at me, slightly amused. I fumbled for words. He said, "the words you are looking for, are 'thank you Sir'". Oh. My. God. Hah. I would have done anything he asked me to, right then.
The rest of the night is kinda hazy for me. I remember pieces of it. Being on my knees, giving myself to him, my whole submission. He had caught me, god I wanted to be his. Being whipped for the first time ever- that delicious fear and...anticipation. Him using me-he was so confident in himself, it was a really big turn on. And, he had every reason to be confident. He knew. Knew how to play the game, knew about desire and hunger and need. Knew the exact things to say to turn my insides to goo.

That night awakened something in me, and ever since, I've been hungry for more; and getting more only serves to make the hunger greater. Wolfie has the same hunger for more as I do. And together we push forwards, discovering new and exciting depths.